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December 9, 2012 / Zoe

I Is For Indecision.

I have always been terrible at making decisions. Not so much the big life changing decisions, I could feel in my gut that I wanted to move to Perth, ‘be’ with Matt, go back to uni, etc. It’s the little every day decisions I struggle with, like what I should order at a cafe, what I should sew or cook, or what to do with my time.

I have, on occasion, worked myself in to a respectable panic while trying to choose something completely trivial. Matt now knows that if I tell him to choose for me that I need him to choose for me, because I just can’t. This is a big part of my anxiety disorder, something to be tackled in the future. My issues with social interactions and getting public transport are higher priority, but I’m sure I’ll eventually get to working on my indecision.

Today I could not think of a thing to write about beginning with ‘I’ that felt good enough, whatever that means. I thought of ice-cream, but I would have to go and buy some and it was far too hot for walking today. I thought of plain old ice in the freezer, but that felt uninspired. I could have made some sugar cookies and decorated them with icing, but that felt like a lot of effort. I could have found an insect. I could have taken a photo of a cat’s iris. I could have written about how I’m so much more independent than I used to be, I could have written about where to get my inspiration, or about my imagination.

Or, I could have written about innocent Daisy, standing next to the wreckage of the clotheshorse, with toys strewn across the floor. I could have written that she looks indignant, because it was actually Zelda who knocked it down. I could have written that Zelda is sometimes completely infuriating, but when she snuggles on my lap I feel nothing but infatuation.

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But I just couldn’t decide. So, ‘I’ is for Indecision.

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2 Comments

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  1. Flamingo Dancer / Dec 11 2012 4:15 pm

    Daughter2 has moved to Perth and she has never been so happy in her life. She said that everyone is so open to making friends, I guess because so many have moved from far far away too. I am visiting with her in January. I have never been to Perth so very excited.

    • Zoe / Dec 12 2012 4:50 pm

      Oh you’ll love it over here! Make sure you visit Kings Park, it’s a really beautiful place!

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