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November 8, 2012 / Zoe

Life List.

I’ve seen a few bloggers posting their ‘life lists’ lately. It’s an interesting concept, much more appealing to me than a ‘whatever before whatever birthday’ list, there’s less pressure and no time limit for some of those loftier goals. But it’s also intimidating. What if I simply cannot achieve what I desire. People say there’s no such thing as ‘can’t.’ Well I disagree, I cannot be an astronaut and walk on the moon, no matter how hard I try or wish to do so. I cannot be a singer or a super model, I do not have the talent nor the figure. I cannot coach an AFL team and I cannot ride in Le Tour de France. This doesn’t greatly concern me, I have no desire to be or do any of those things.

What about the things that I actually want? The things that tug on my heart and keep me awake at night? What if I can’t do those things either. That’s what scares me.

I want to have a homebirth (or 5) and I want to breast feed into toddlerhood, I want to show people that it is perfectly acceptable to do these things if it feels right, and that homebirth is safe in low risk pregnancies. But my body might fail me.

I want to own a craft cafe with my Mum and possibly my sister too. I want to source quality handmade goods online and sell them in a physical store and online as well. I want to give small crafters an outlet where their goods don’t have to compete with piles of crap made in factories, or just piles of crap made by someone who believes they have talent, and somewhere where people can see and hold and appreciate their work. But I am on the other side of the country to my Mum, and neither of us have any money.

I want to drive around the Black Sea. I know, right? Why? Well, why not? It’s there, and I love Eastern European culture. I want to visit Turkey and Romania and Moldova and Russia. But how could I ever save that much when I want to own a small craft cafe and produce several small humans to care for?

I want to support my partner, so that he can do all the things he wants to do. But they clash with the things I want to do. How can we both find what we want?

That’s why a life list is tricky. It can’t be things beyond your control, that’s setting yourself up for failure. But you can still find some middle ground. Things to wish for and aim for. Achievable things.

Like:

Writing every day.

Growing a bonsai tree.

Eating enough vegetables.

Having chickens in the backyard.

Doing pilates until I can reach my feet over my head.

Selling handmade things at a market.

Learning to speak Russian.

Making my own clothes.

Laughing every day.

These are things I can do. Maybe these things will lead to those things I want to do, but I’ll have to wait and see. And if they don’t? Well, I’ll be able to speak Russian to my chickens while wearing a handmade dress, so it won’t matter one little bit, will it?

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6 Comments

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  1. Flamingo Dancer / Nov 10 2012 7:25 pm

    Now that I am in my fifties I have given up trying to improve myself and making wish lists. I feel liberated. I am not giving up on life, I am just taking each moment as it comes and loving it. I will never really be Queen of the World, no matter how hard I try…or how many people I beat with my stick.

    • Zoe / Nov 10 2012 7:45 pm

      Yes, thank you! I felt SO liberated when I was thinking about making a list and I realised that putting things on a list that might never happen won’t make me happy. It’s the little things I do every day that make me happy!

  2. Circe / Nov 8 2012 10:45 pm

    I think a life list is a great idea, and I think it’s great to have lofty as well as practical things on this list. Make the list and live by it, but don’t worry if things don’t come to pass, we all have to do some compromising. I think it’s about seeing where you end up, not about putting a check mark next to everything on your list.

    Now you’ve got me thinking about what’s on mine 😀

    • Zoe / Nov 10 2012 7:43 pm

      I guess I kind of think that speaking Russian is a pretty lofty goal! I think the most important thing is having goals that aren’t dependent on other people, I’ve spent too long waiting for others to want the same things as me, but that might not ever happen!

      I can’t wait to read your life list. xx

  3. It’s important to have those pie-in-the-sky dreams, I think. I’m always dreaming. Always coming up with new ideas that I’ll never actually make a reality – but in the thinking/dreaming I expand my horizons!
    And, you just never know when those lofty ideas may become reality. Sometimes, the most impossible dream can come true. For instance, if you learn to speak Russian perhaps that will lead to a future where you travel the Black Sea! y’never know 🙂
    p.s. yay for chickens + having babies + laughing everyday!

    • Zoe / Nov 8 2012 7:43 pm

      Yes, I want to learn Russian and then I’ll HAVE to go to the black sea! 😀

      I don’t think I’ll ever stop thinking up big crazy dreams, it gives me so much joy to think about, but I don’t think I should set any of then as an official ‘goal’ unless I can see myself ever achieving it, y’know? My psychologist is always warning me against setting myself up for failure with unrealistic goals.

      I should have added visiting Peterborough to my list. 😉

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