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December 26, 2010 / Zoe

Christmas.

I feel like I should write the obligatory Christmas post, even though it wasn’t really Christmas for me. My family are scattered around the country, and we only manage to get together about once a year. When we’re all (5 kids plus parents) together, that’s Christmas. We’re not a religious family, so that works fine for us. So I celebrated Christmas in July, we had a tree and a feast and gave handmade gifts. It was bliss. I am so bad at taking photos at things like that though, so I have nothing to offer.

Even though yesterday didn’t feel like Christmas, I was required to put on a happy face and pretend for Matt’s family.  It’s no secret that I have an anxiety disorder, at least in Internet Land it’s not, so it was a really difficult day for me. Not helped by the searing temperatures and the lack of air con in our old rattle box of a car. The day started nice enough, Matt and I rolled out of bed at a reasonable hour and had a relaxing cooked breakfast and exchanged gifts. I gave him a book about making sour dough, and he gave me a blank book for my drawings and a bamboo cutting board. After setting up all the animals with food and water for the night we headed off to Bunbury, a couple of hours south of Perth. After 2 hours of being baked alive we arrived feeling tired and dehydrated. I was pleased that everyone enjoyed the presents I made them, once again I’m an idiot and didn’t take any photos, but I gave a few tote bags, a few Pokeball cross stitch brooches and a few photos I printed off on A4 photo paper. But after the gift giving I had to disappear and have a snooze. All the people moving around was too much for me. I don’t know why I have such trouble with people moving around, had everyone been seated I would have been fine, but the movement was going to set off a panic attack so I excused myself. I just want to clarify that Matt’s family is lovely, individually I would love to spend time with each of the dozen or so people there, but all together they were just a blur of anxiety. I emerged after a few people had gone home, grazed on some cheese and rice crackers, and then Matt and I went for a drive to look at Christmas lights. There was some pretty impressive displays, I’m kicking myself for not having camera in hand.

So all in all it was a pretty uneventful but anxious Christmas, and today we hopped back in our rattle box and drove back to Perth, again with the 40° C heat. We both have ‘driving-in-the-sun’ arm, Matt’s right arm is bright red, and I have the same effect on the left. We’re both hot and tired and in great need of a cold shower and a decent nights sleep.

I hope all you dear bloggy friends had the most wonderful cool relaxing day. I’ll be back tomorrow to post my crafty goals for 2011. xox

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5 Comments

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  1. Donaji / Dec 30 2010 8:58 am

    I can’t believe you’re being baked alive and I’m here, freezing to death. I need gloves INDOORS! My hand on the mouse is so cold, I have to keep putting it back in my pocket every time I’m just reading from the screen.
    I don’t know anyone that has an anxiety disorder so I don’t know what that would be like but it sounds pretty scary to me. I once had a panic attack or anxiety attack at work, and it was one really scary moment, I cried and all and had no idea why. So I’m glad you have a loving boy who’s there to take care of you and understands you 🙂
    And it’s neat you got Christmas with your family in July….whatever works! Happy Christmastime Zoe!

    • Zoe / Dec 31 2010 6:27 pm

      I imagine the cold must be awful, but right now that sounds like bliss! And I am SO lucky to have my boy, honestly if I didn’t have him I’d probably have to move back in with parents, which would NOT be fun!
      Merry Christmas to you too!

  2. Ieva / Dec 29 2010 8:03 am

    Glad your Christmas went OK. We had nearly all of our family here for Christmas which was lovely.
    Is there anything you can do to avoid the anxiety attack? I have a lot of trouble with going to the movies, lectures etc – I don’t like being jammed in by people, but I find that if I sit in an aisle seat, near an exit I feel fine. Maybe you need to find a spot in the room or something where the movement doesn’t bother you as much??

    • Zoe / Dec 31 2010 6:21 pm

      There’s not much I can do, other than breathing exercises. I’m usually ok if I’m sitting in a corner, but the room wasn’t set up in a way that I could do that at Christmas.

  3. brooke / Dec 27 2010 10:24 am

    glad you had a good day and made it back home to the quiet and calm of your own home! 🙂

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